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12 June 2009 @ 12:51 am
Ahh  
Readers, I do this because I am dedicated, committed! to bringing you the most updated stories in my life. Here is one I wish not to repeat, or think about, or look at, since I took a photo, but I shall do all just for you. If you're just as scared of spiders as I am, don't look under the cut. It's a combination of mild arachnophobia (I'm trying to ignore the possibility that a random spider could jump on me at ANY moment) and having just seen the beast of interest. I present one, sadly, of many large black widows hanging around my house (outdoors only thank god). I haaaate spiders...

(Maybe I'll just look at thumbnails... but what about cropping? .... Mars Volta should NOT be playing now...)

Read more... )

And my dad once playfully caught one of these!! Like wthhhhh...


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04 June 2009 @ 10:00 pm
So I need to compile a list of states and parks I'm tentatively visiting this summer so I can get free maps from AAA. I know I write way too much about my trip but I'm too excited and this will help me organize it a bit.

States:
California
Nevada
Utah
Wyoming
North Dakota
South Dakota
Minnesota
Iowa
Nebraska
Kansas
Missouri
Colorado
Arizona

Parks:
Grand Teton
Badlands
Rocky Mountain
Arches
Canyonlands
Glen Canyon
Bryce Canyon
Zion
Grand Canyon
Plus others, like Nat'l Forests and State Parks


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29 May 2009 @ 03:11 pm
What I'm cooking up tonight.

Roasted Red Pepper Hummus:
-roasted red peppers
-lemon juice


Chicken Florentine Casserole:
-garlic
-lemon juice
-broccoli
-spinach

Pat's Baked Beans:
-pinto beans
-great Northern beans
-pink beans
-red kidney beans
-garbanzo beans

The last dinner I will be cooking in Berkeley.
And somehow I gotta feed 12 people.


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20 May 2009 @ 08:44 pm
I am simultaneously upset and happy. Very upset that I have to write this paper, very upset that I'm still in the info-gathering phase, generally tired of thinking only about finals for a while. Very happy that this is my last final, for all of college, very happy that I don't have to perfect this paper because I'm doing really well in the class, very happy that tonight's the last night I lose sleep over academic obligations. I would seriously be cracking right now if I had yet another (fourth) paper due after this one. Right now the only thing keeping me going is that I'll be "finished" soon.

But what does it really mean to be finished? I still have my parents to await. Graduation. A week of saying goodbyes and last hangouts and moving things into boxes. Will I be done on May 31? And what about unpacking when I return to LA? And finding a new direction. And then postponing the direction-finding because all I'll be doing is seeing friends and family. Then my road....

OK, gotta stop. I ain't done with finals yet, so stfu man.


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16 May 2009 @ 03:54 am
it's late y'all
 
 
It's harder to catch gnats in warmer weather.

I now know a lot about biocatalytic production of succinic acid through in vivo fermentation by E. coli.

Fuck the difficulty in finding engineering and traffic survey reports for segments of highways. Damn the CHP officer that wrote 08 in one field but correctly wrote 09 in the other. If he wrote 08 in both I could possibly say, "I was not on that stretch of highway on March 23, 2008."

I'm getting a little hungry but I don't have anything to eat at the apartment.

How many times do you want to die? // How many ways do you want to die? (--Silversun Pickups)

Hopeful stops and paths on this summer's road trip: CA east of the Sierra (US 395); Carson City and Reno, NV; deserts of NV; Salt Lake City, UT (not too excited about this one, but they have a particular "regional cultural influence"); Grand Teton NP, WY; Great Plains and the 98th meridian; Denver, CO; NPs of the Southwest, like Arches, Canyonlands, Glen Canyon, Zion, maybe Grand Canyon (probably not all, but some); Las Vegas, NV. I want to be out for 2-3 weeks and must balance taking my time and seeing lots of landscapes. This is the tentative skeleton of my trip, though additions and deletions may occur, especially after input from other road trippers. It will be a self-guided tour of the West, Southwest, and Midwest. I am intentionally excluding the more traditional South because I want to devote a future trip entirely to the region, one that will probably be cross-country.

Why am I repeating things that I've said in recent entries? Because it's finals season, that's why.

I think I'm done with most of the research needed for my chem paper/review. I will take a break (like this wasn't one), perhaps make a Safeway or gas station run, and start outlining and hopefully writing when I return.


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I'm rockin' out to: Silversun Pickups, their album Swoon
 
 
12 May 2009 @ 09:39 pm
It's funny when a restaurant says everyone at the table must opt for the all-you-can-eat option because they don't allow sharing. That is, they don't want one person getting it and sharing with others. The way I would have phrased it is that everyone has to opt for the all-you-can-eat option precisely for the reason of sharing. That is, everyone can order what they want and can share with whomever they want at the table. I guess what I'm saying is that their policy can have both limiting and enhancing effects on sharing, it just depends on how you look at it. They advertise it in the "glass half empty" perspective. That blond waitress fumbled her words the entire night.

* * *

So I've finally begun work on tackling my finals. I'm starting with chemistry because a) it's due sooner than my other three finals and b) I ought to write one of my three papers before preparing for the exam (lest I write constantly for the last few days).

I have to write a "current opinion in chemical biology." I'm examining the conversion of biomass into useful fuels through pathways that don't include food sources, so that means no corn or edible sugars as starting points. I don't really know too much about biofuels, except that making ethanol from corn fucks over poor people all around the world. The process I'm focusing on is the biocatalytic conversion of cellulose into its constituent sugars. These sugars are usually fermented to ethanol, but you can also make dimethylfuran (DMF) via chemical catalysis. DMF can be used as a fuel. Another possibility for my paper is looking at the engineering of bacteria to increase production of succinic acid, which can be chemically converted into many compounds that serve as fuels and solvents. The latter sounds a little more interesting since succinic acid serves as a platform intermediate that leads to tons of other chemicals.

Basically, my paper has to introduce a technique or series of reactions that's relatively new in the field of chemical biology. I need to find recently-published sources and write about challenges and ways they've been overcome. I also need to include pros and cons for the different articles I'm reviewing and conclude with remaining obstacles and my opinion of where the field should go in the near future. The whole thing needs to be about seven pages which isn't bad. I mean, at least a page just to introduce the topic and another page to conclude things means I need no more than five pages for the bulk of the material. I can review five articles at a page each, or a couple more if I find really interesting information. But yeah, that's my task for tonight and tomorrow. Today's Tuesday and it's due Friday, but I would like to finish sooner so I can start on the other three finals... I have more finals than everyone I've talked to so far, haha.

* * *

I've been having less-than-fun dreams lately. It's like I've internalized my depression even further and it only seems to manifest itself in my dreams. I've been feeling better the past week because it's finally May and I can see the light at the ending of the tunnel. Or rather, what I perceive to be light; let's hope it ain't fire. I'm graduating in LESS THAN two weeks and leaving Berkeley in LESS THAN three weeks. I'm not counting down in terms of days because that'd just stress me out. I get excited every time I look at my calendar. Just three more days and I'm half way through May. Hopefully finals will distract me from whatever my dreams portend. Hopefully graduation and moving out will also distract me post-finals.

* * *

Nothing else to really say. I just wanted to add another separator. But I am getting hungry... I ate about four hours ago and I've had coffee since, so I'm not really hungry. I want to snack on something but I've been trying to cut down on unhealthy crap. Wow, is it really past 10pm? OK, I don't actually have too many still-open options. Ooh, I can make mashed potatoes. I have a potato!


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I'm rockin' out to: Cake - I Will Survive
 
 
10 May 2009 @ 07:08 pm
You know what I need to do? Find interesting blogs. And cite those, too. Too often I cite the filtered, watered-down (yeah, cliche words to call dominant media outlets but true) news but not the insight of some good blogs out there. Who cares if it's not conventional? I don't give a damn. Good information is good, and in the end the more sources you use the more holistic your outcome will be. Yeah, that's what I'll do.
 
 
10 May 2009 @ 06:30 pm
Hamid Karzai, president of Afghanistan, May 5: The airstrikes are not acceptable. This is something that we've raised in the Afghan government very clearly, that terrorism is not in the Afghan villages, not in Afghan homes. And you cannot defeat terrorists by airstrikes. We cannot justify in any manner, for whatever number of Taliban, for whatever number of significantly important terrorists, the accidental or otherwise loss of civilians. [...] We don't demand compensations, we don't demand any other assistance for our civilians. We demand the proper (conduct) of operations. We demand an end to these operations.

James Jones, national security adviser of US, May 10: We can't fight with one hand tied behind our back.

The US will continue with its air strikes against the will of the people and government of Afghanistan. Do you really wonder why the Taleban has some appeal in the region? No matter how bad--and they're pretty bad--they're not dropping thousand-pound bombs from aircraft high in the sky. To those that say morals are objective and the Taleban is baaad nomatterwhatanyonesays, please consider the options: oppressive peace with Taleban or mounting death and destruction with the US?

And to those that say oppression is not peace, live in warfare and see the difference.

It truly is constructed and relative and varied through time and space.


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P.S. It's a shame because I don't think my links are permanent. I feel like all my links to sources will be dead if I go back and check them. That's why you gotta CITE your sources...
 
 
05 May 2009 @ 09:24 pm
Just four finals. That's it.

ED: final exam
NES: 10 page paper, probably will write on children in Iranian film and fiction
GWS: 6-7 page paper, not long at all, topic is pretty open to various responses
Chem: 7 page paper, probably will write on recent improvements in converting biomass into fuels using bacteria's machinery as a biocatalyst to generate succinic acid which is chemically catalyzed to fuels


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How do I feel?: calmed
I'm rockin' out to: Radiohead... Dariush... Bad Religion
 
 
Hahahaha. I'm in class right now and we had to fill out evaluations for our professor. Most evals consist of statements followed by a 1-7 scale. My friend who hasn't been doing very well in the class decided to give the professor a 3 on "The instructor motivates me to learn." A couple of us saw that and started making fun of him for not giving higher marks. He actually got up and retrieved his eval to change his responses. That's when we figured out that he also gave the professor a 1 for some other question. I joked that right as he's putting the eval back into the folder the professor was going to walk in the class and see it. Just as I "predicted," the professor walked in when he was trying to put his eval into the already-full folder. A few of us busted out laughing. He was having trouble putting the eval back which makes it even funnier. It was obvious something was amiss because the professor asked, "What's so amusing?" Hahahaha.

The above could be a transposon that induces laughter. Only the termini are not palindromic.

(Technical note: I finished this entry at home.)


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omgomgomg i feel like a tween all excited about miley cyrus or the jonas brothers coming into town, but yeah, wow

OK, let's compose ourselves. Undercapitalization is a crime in this country; let's carry ourselves in a dignified manner.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090428/ap_on_go_co/specter_switch

*Several* sources say Republican senator Arlen Specter, who's been siding with Democrats here and there, intends to SWITCH HIS PARTY AFFILIATION FROM REPUBLICAN TO DEMOCRAT!!!

I realize that it's stupid on one hand to applaud this, since the two parties are not so radically different when you attempt to contemplate all the possibilities for governing. Also, even though I'd prefer Democrats to have power over Republicans, they're all going to continue America's destructive policies domestically and abroad. BUT! At least this will enable Obama and legislative Democrats from stepping over Republicans who threaten to filibuster bills. Of course, I ought to be ashamed of myself and realize that this is a sort of absolute power, at least of two branches of government. Is this really how bad Bush, Cheney, et al fucked things up? (Actually, they fucked things up so much more for non-Americans than we here will ever know.)

One day in the future I'll have to delete this entry because a truth commission will go after everyone who supported the soon-to-be genocidal dictator Obama who caused WW III and IV. And all because Arlen Specter granted the man more ruling freedom.

[How much faith do I really have?]

O snap, it's more official now. Yippee?!?!?!
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_specter_switch


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I really liked one of the recent Candorville comic strips. Our almost-daily school newspaper The Daily Californian (Daily Cal) has a couple comics at the end and one of them is usually Candorville, drawn by Darrin Bell. The first three (of four) frames are funny.


*At a football match*
1
~I used to feel like football players were champions fighting for our whole city's honor.
2
~Now I just feel like I'm watchin' a bunch of multimillionaires working.
3
~Like I'm eating hot dogs while watching Warren Buffet sell stock.
4
Guy next to him: RAAAAAAAGH!
~Good talk.


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19 April 2009 @ 07:07 pm
I'm procrastinating by applying for a Passport. The random thought came to my head to drive to Alaska this summer. Yeah, sounds ridiculous, but if I'm going to do a road trip anyway, might as well... Hear me out. Wouldn't Canada and Alaska be cooler than the Midwest? Maybe in temperature. Perhaps this will end my fascination with exploring the West Coast. I didn't quite finish exploring Washington last summer so this will give me an opportunity to cover the eastern part of the state. Then again, with 50 formal states (I guess the others are colonies and at least one is, well, Zion) how much sense does it make to visit any of them twice? Haha, ok, that's dumb. I'll think about it. Maybe I'll just apply and not expedite it and see when it arrives. If my passport arrives before I go on my trip then I'll consider it. If not then I simply can't, especially since entry rules are changing June 1, the earliest day that I could possibly go on a trip.

But yeah, the application process is intense because this shit will last me 10 years. So it's natural that I, as an unemployed soon-to-graduate student, have trouble when I have to fill in the mandatory field of "Occupation." I can't put Student because a) I won't be a student enrolled in an academic institution, and b) I don't want that to be my occupation for the next 10 years. I'd like to put Chemist but I'm not employed and from their help box it seems like don't mean "Specialty." I'll put Chemist and leave "Employer" empty because it doesn't show up as mandatory anyway. I just don't want my application returned because I'm too ashamed to have it show Unemployed for 10 years.


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I'm rockin' out to: Cake
 
 
19 April 2009 @ 12:52 pm
I told myself I wouldn't do it until I turned 25, at the earliest.
But now I'm reconsidering that precondition.

* * *

Maybe I should take vitamin supplements, especially chromium picolinate. I hear it can be good for you.
Perhaps a trip to GNC.

* * *

Free fluorescent light bulb from Home Depot today.
But it's "soft white" aka yellow, not bright white or daylight.

* * *

Need to shower.
Need to write 8 pages.

* * *


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18 April 2009 @ 03:11 pm
I finally mailed out the umbrella hat to the person that paid for it nearly a WEEK ago. *Sigh* As a token of being apologetic for the delay, I sent two hats. Hope I still get positive feedback.

Gonna see the Silversun Pickups play a live show at Rasputin in less than an hour. Because of Berkeley I like Rasputin better than Amoeba. Both are here, but that's the point; I'm allowed a side-by-side comparison for four years. Or maybe I'm not a real music appreciator (ref Palin). And you know what, FUCK BUSH! I hate that he's disappeared despite all the shit that he's done. I'm still angry, I still hate that man and Cheney, too. Grrrr... We won't forget!

Aside aside, I need to really start on my school work. Come back after the show, make some coffee, write, go to El Pollo Loco with Andrew, write, ... That's my tentative plan.

And just for kicks, my finals for my final semester at Cal:

Chem - 7 page lit review
NES - 10 page research paper
ED - exam
GWS - take-home exam aka paper of yet-to-be-determined length

OK, that's not bad. Thank god that ED research paper wasn't due anytime in May, cuz that'd be uncool.

Almost May. Gotta send in 30 days' notice. Actually, I can't wait to do that. It'll bring me one step closer to getting outta here. The weather is soooo nice today. That's something I'll miss about this place because LA is gonna be hot.


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11 April 2009 @ 02:55 am
I have a red book of blank pages. I got this idea from my dad. Every time I'm going to be distanced from someone close to me I have them write in it. In practice, I've forgotten to ask people to write in the book. I wish I had gotten more people to write in it at high school's end. Don't get me wrong; I don't want it to be like a yearbook that everyone signs. But yeah, it usually takes some time for people to sign it. Actually, of the four entries, three were same-day. But the fourth took a while to be written, and a fifth person held onto it for some time but hasn't written yet. It's something that I take sorta seriously, and three of the four people who wrote in it also took it seriously. Josh Lee was like w/e about it, but then again he and I were closer a few years before his signing.

As I mentioned, I got this idea from my dad. He had friends write in it. A couple have been executed for their political activism, so it's kind of a 'last words' sort of thing. But only if you're gonna be executed. I don't see the book as a farewell signifier because that implies an end to the relationship, which is false. Ken's written in the book but he and I still see each other every chance we get. If I ever leave California I'll probably have him write in it again.

I need to start getting people to write in it. I'm probably here for less than two months and who knows how long people might take. I shall probably start with my roommates. Andrew, expect a red book to be handed to you soon!

1. The person writing can use as much space as s/he needs, but I prefer no one pull any stunt and fill the whole book with stuff.
2. The person writing can read previous messages left by others and should be fine with future writers reading his/er message.
3. The person writing shall not construe this as a farewell. I do this prior to situational transitions.


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I'm rockin' out to: Jamie Foxx - Blame It (on the Alcohol)
 
 
In my chemistry class, we go over a ton of articles authored by chemists. My professor mentions how many of these chemists, usually the ones that have discovered or, more appropriately, found lucrative compounds or techniques, end up starting companies and making lots of money. Today he mentioned a Berkeley professor who had a great idea for fine-tuning fluorescence. I agree, it's a pretty smart idea. But! My problem with the issue is that this professor goes ahead and starts a company with the rights to this product. He can then run and exploit this product for money or, what he ended up doing, sell the company's licensing rights to another larger company for a big lump-sum payout.

I approached my professor after class and asked how the process goes. He started by saying that anyone, even myself, can start a company. That's technically true but not the answer I wanted, so I probed a little more. Whenever professors find something that can make money, the University takes half. Half of the remaining royalties goes to the Department. The last quarter of all profits goes to the professor. "A quarter can be a lot of money," says my professor.

Here's the kicker, which is what I was aiming to get at the whole time.

"So even if the original research was funded publicly, a professor can privatize the results if it promises profit?"

"Yes, we are allowed to do that."

* * *

And o, btw, the midterm for this class that I found out about only 5 hours in advance... we got our results back.

1. I would have been incredibly happy just to get at least one standard deviation below the mean.

2. The mean for this test was the highest this professor has seen on any of his exams.

*gulp*

3. I scored exactly the mean!!! YAY! That's right, bitches! I proved that 5 hours of cramming equals 5 weeks of studying. (OK, five weeks of studying may have gotten me a little higher, but still, I got the average score with probably the least review of material.)


It's so sad that this makes me happy. I used to not care, not even pick up exams or problem sets. I still don't care, but in the absence of other things, I gotta find something to perk up life. (Damn, you just gotta be a downer, don't you? haha)

* * *

For my Iranian film class I want to write my final paper on either gender or age, probably both. It's interesting how in GWS we talked about there being few American films that feature children as the main character(s). I'm talking about films that are not specially geared towards children. Yeah, those dumb spy movies where a 14-year old saves the world don't count. A feature film with deep meaning from the real perspective of children, not the shit that children supposedly do and think about (though you can say misrepresentation affects reality, and perhaps more well-to-do children are subject to misrepresentation since their worlds typically don't require labor or much hardship... and maybe TV fits more prominently in their lives). But Iranian films do feature children. We saw A Time For Drunken Horses (Bahman Ghobadi, 2000) and I think I might use that in my final paper. There are definitely the themes of gender and age. Child as adult, child as laborer and provider, family without adults, child as parent... This would largely fall on confused ears in the US. There's a Children's Film Festival in Iran. These actors are not professional actors, but instead "real" people who even use their real names in the movie. Though my friends might disagree with me because they apparently know me better than I do, I do like watching American films. But a lot of the mainstream ones are pretty shitty at several levels compared to Iranian films.

If I was able to choose any topic for my final paper in GWS, I would examine Iranian film as a text of gender and age and racialization and class... I guess I can't do anything on sexuality cuz that shit ain't included in Iranian films.

I should get something to eat and maybe look over my exam to see why I did so well.


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07 April 2009 @ 02:33 am
O
M
F
G

This is one of those times that I can use the term FML.

So at about 2:30am I started wondering what the rest of my semester would look like. I realized I have final papers in all four of my classes and wanted to check when they were due, among other things like what books I need to read and what midterms I have left. This was all during a break in studying for my midterm tomorrow (technically today). What sort of shocked me was that my 8-10 page research paper whose topic I've hardly elucidated is due in a week. "Hmmm, that should be about the time of my second Chem midterm," I thought. So I looked that up and lo and behold, a crazy, mind-reeling date: April 7, 8am... in just a few hours.

I'm pissed that I didn't figure this out sooner. I'm so happy, nevertheless, that I figured this out at all. I can't imagine how fucking floored I would be if I walked into my classroom and was handed an exam. Seeing that I don't even have the structures of the basic carbohydrates and nucleic acids in my head, I would've FAILED that test. Not that I might not fail it anyway, but whatever I get will be higher than if I went in sans studying.

This will either have an effect on my GWS midterm or attendance of all classes tomorrow (i.e. skip out on ED discussion to prepare for GWS... but ED dis is where we'll be going over that 8-10 paper I know shit about)... or most likely, both.

Wish me luck! (Why did I spend time writing this entry? I feel like I discovered something I otherwise would not have known, so all this time is sort of like... extra/found/free time. I'm not discarding my plan of showering either.)


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I have ten minutes before I start studying intensely for my midterm tomorrow. Let's see how much I can get out.

Spring Break was fun. I went down to San Bernadino area but didn't stop because it was too cold to pitch a tent. I didn't want to sleep in freezing (32 degree) weather. Traveled through the desert's smaller highways to reach Las Vegas, where I met up with Raechal and Ryan. Spent 24 hours there doing what stays there (haha, jk, nothing crazy happened). Then I headed toward LA instead of Death Valley to spend one extra day with the people I don't see often. Saw Ken, Alex, Ehsan, and Alex, along with a few others like Sean and Jett and Raul and Gil. And Matt Vu. Saw the family which is more stable now, but not any better. Said my goodbyes to Jamar and Rian because they're moving back to the East Coast. Every time I write that I first write "Easy Coast" and maybe so, financially. Actually, maybe that's just the South. They're moving back to the Southeast. I know a couple other people that might move back to LA (the state) because it's so much easier to make money and live there than in CA. Anyway, when I returned to Berkeley I took the 99 so as to pass through the agricultural towns of California. Very different type of city, and I don't just mean cows. Many think those areas are populated with white conservatives but a LOOOT are workers who initially migrated here for work. Lots of Latinos, which are usually better to run into than white people, at least when you carry a foreigner's beard in a rural area.

But that was over a week ago. Since then I've just been doing my thing here in Berkeley. Tomorrow's gonna be the first real day of school in like a week. Wednesday I only had my film class and we watched a movie; Thursday I didn't go to class; Friday I don't have class; and today I woke up too late. Tomorrow shouldn't be as bad then because I've taken quite a break from classes.

But as you may know from reading this journal, I don't want to stay in Berkeley anymore. I don't know if it's this area, or the people here, or just that I'm going to school, but I'm tired. Too tired. I understand at least one thing that's bothering me, I think, but there's much more than that. Maybe two things. Ah, ten minutes are over. Let me write a little more.

May 31 is probably when I'm moving out of this place. I'll probably relocate to LA because I have the luxury of parents that won't charge me rent. I understand not everyone has this option so I'm hella grateful. And because I won't have to worry about starving, I'll probably spend June doing very little in terms of future-securing. Maybe look for a job, but I'm really interested in a road trip. I have planned several road trips since I was in MIDDLE SCHOOL. I knew I'd have to wait years until I finally had the time to actually go on one. But now's the time. In between graduation and getting hired I'm going to spend a little time road-tripping. Not a crazy far one, but maybe, who knows. I'll probably stay west of the 98th meridian but yeah, who knows. I want to go over the Rocky Mountains because it'll be summer and that shit won't be too nice (or possible) in the winter. I don't know where I'll go or who will want to go with me but I can finally do that. By July I expect to have gone on my trip and relaxed enough. If I haven't already lined up a job by then, then I'll start looking. Looking for a place to live will come last because job > home when you already have a home for the time being. So who knows what the summer will look like but a chunk of it will be spent at my parents' house and on the road. I really really really hope to be in my own place before summer ends. The sooner the better, but if I want to be realistic, with my laziness, with my trip, with this economy, with my lackluster resume, it might take all summer. But that's my plan. And maybe once I've gained on that plan or advanced another one I'll update you and myself on the rest of 2009.

I spent 17 minutes instead of 10. Gotta go study now.


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